Shawn Handlon and Bethany Poulter

Shawn Patrick Handlon
Age: 38
Hometown: Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan
NCL Ships: The Star, The Spirit


Bethany Dawn Poulter
Age: 26
Hometown: Salt Lake City, Utah
NCL Ships: The Star, The Dream, The Spirit

Shawn is one of the cast members of The Second City currently aboard The Spirit. Bethany is his girlfriend. She’s a Y.C. (Youth Counselor). This is Shawn’s fifth contract with Second City on an NCL cruise ship. By the time our contract ends in October, Shawn will have been on The Spirit for just over a year. He spent eight months in 2007 touring Mexico on The Star. This is where he met the lovely Bethany. They have been dating ever since.
Shawn used to be a banker in Detroit. He hated his job, so he quit to pursue acting. He began taking classes at Second City and eventually became a Mainstage member of Second City Detroit for a couple of years before adding the NCL ships to his resume. He plans on returning to Detroit for the holidays this year with the possibility of returning to ship life in early 2009.
Bethany is a practicing Mormon. She loves working with children and is fluent in Russian, having lived there for a year teaching English. Bethany also really likes to eat fruit. I suspect she eats entire meals of nothing but fruit. I recently lent her a book and she dropped it in the toilet…but she offered to buy me a new one to replace it. I declined because I already read it (and who wants to read a book about war and slavery more than once anyway?). I thought it showed great strength of character that she admitted she dropped it in the toilet and not the pool.

I’m able to catch Bethany on a break between shifts in the Kids Centre. Shawn and I tend to have loads of free time, so our schedules are less of an issue. The three of us pile into Shawn’s small cabin and they eat dinner (lots of fruit on those plates) as I ask questions. I think it’s very kind that they’re allowing me to invade their private time in this small cabin, especially because I think I have the flu.

BETHANY: Shawn, turn on the light so Carla doesn’t strain her eyes.
Bethany’s very thoughtful.
CARLA: Shawn, you’re from Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan. Is that like from the movie “Grosse Pointe Blank” with John Cusack?
SHAWN: That was shot on what they call…the Hill? The Village? Well, Grosse Pointe Shores, there are five. Grosse Pointe Park, City of Grosse Pointe, Grosse Pointe Woods, Village, maybe? I don’t know, something else. It was shot in a little town in the city of Grosse Pointe and the high school was where my Dad went.

My head feels real cloudy. What’s this about hills and villages? I sneeze. Shawn offers me a Kleenex.

CARLA: No, thank you.
SHAWN: You sure? They have lotion in them.
CARLA: Nah, I have my own.

I pull a wad of toilet paper out of my pocket.

SHAWN: I liked that movie, by the way. Grosse Pointe Blank.
BETHANY: I didn’t see it.
SHAWN: I don’t think you would like it.
CARLA: I don’t remember much about it.

Bethany doesn’t like movies where people lie, cheat or kill. I can’t remember if any of these things happen in “Grosse Pointe Blank”. I can’t remember much of anything right now.

CARLA: Okay, when did you first meet?
BETHANY: Week of February 10th, but I don’t know which day.
SHAWN: 2007.
CARLA: I can’t believe 2007 is over.

Long pause.
Wait. 2007 has been over for how long? Oh. Seven months. That’s a long time to not be used to it being over yet...Or is it?

SHAWN: I had another girlfriend at the time. She was also on the ship. A photographer.
BETHANY: And she was even younger than me!
SHAWN: And, just for the record, Bethany had nothing to do with why we broke up. We weren’t getting along. It all started up in the Spinnaker Lounge. I was hanging out with a bunch of people. It was Margaret (Second City cast member), her husband, Jitterbug, Magic, Bethany and me.

Note to reader: The Youth Counselors on board all have “professional names”. Bethany’s is Blueberry. There’s an Amanda AKA Apple Pie, a Cindy AKA Happy Camper and another Amanda AKA Amazon. From what I can gather, “Jitterbug” and “Magic” were YC’s. Bethany’s YC name for Shawn is “Shamrock”. I haven’t jumped on this name bandwagon, though I have been told by Bethany that “Canary” would suit me well.

SHAWN (CONT’D): There was this passenger who was really drunk hitting on Jitterbug and Magic. His name was Frog.

If Magic and Frog hook up, does this mean Frog turns into a Prince?

SHAWN (CONT’D): Jitterbug and Magic sent him over to Bethany and Margaret, you know, to get him off their backs—
BETHANY: We were in the corner, minding our own business.
SHAWN: He was really mean, calling Margaret fat and stuff…

So the Frog doesn’t turn into a Prince? I’m confused again. What are we talking about? Does Frog turn into John Cusack? Where’s Grosse Pointe Blank?

SHAWN (CONT’D): Margaret was like, “Look, I’m married. I’m not going to have sex with you and Bethany”.
BETHANY: I had nothing. No excuse of anything to say—
SHAWN: So, I pretended to be her fiancée.
CARLA: Bethany’s?
SHAWN: Yeah.
BETHANY: He grabbed my hand.
SHAWN: We held hands all night long.
BETHANY: We were making up our past, our own story, as we went along all night.
SHAWN: So, a few weeks later—
BETHANY: He gave me chocolate coins every day. Every day he’d find me and give me a chocolate coin.
SHAWN: And then one night, we were looking at pictures, and I planted one on her. And then, uh, at that point she only had about a month left in her contract…I didn’t want to kiss her until I quit smoking. Magic and Jitterbug were my smoking buddies.

I wonder what ever happened to Frog?

SHAWN: And then when we said goodbye we thought maybe that’d be the end of it. She bought a ticket to come visit me as a passenger.
BETHANY: But then I got a call that because I had just worked on the ship, I wasn’t allowed to come back so soon as a passenger.
SHAWN: A rule that doesn’t even really exist! So she decided to exchange her ticket for a ticket to Detroit when I was done with my contract…someone was a little more smitten than she thought she was.
BETHANY: I was.

Aww. I sneeze.

BETHANY: So I visited Detroit in June and then we didn’t see each other again until November. I did a contract on The Dream that went to the Baltic…Shawn’s bad at e-mails. I had a pretty traumatic summer because I hardly heard from him.

I can’t stop sneezing. There's snot everywhere.

SHAWN: In my defense, I was directing a two person show for the Fringe Festival.
CARLA: So, were you committed to just each other at this time?

Shawn and Bethany glance at each other. It’s awkward…I hope for a sneeze to break up the awkwardness, but it doesn’t come. Sneezes are so unreliable.

BETHANY: I think the reason he didn’t write to me was because he didn’t think it was going anywhere.
SHAWN: Okay, that’s not it…Well, I didn’t have time for anyone else. I was really busy.

They stare at each other again. Shawn starts laughing.

SHAWN: I was!

Bethany starts laughing. Awkwardness averted.

BETHANY: He hardly e-mailed me! What, like twice?
SHAWN: No, more like seven.
BETHANY: Maybe like four.
SHAWN: It wasn’t that few.

They’re laughing much harder now. I’m alternating between laughs and sneezes.

SHAWN: Maybe some of them got lost! Oh, also, some of them were one sentence.
BETHANY: I’m counting those! I’m gonna go look at my yahoo account.
SHAWN: I am too.
CARLA: So, why did you come on board The Spirit last fall, Bethany?
BETHANY: Well, I was supposed to do The Jewel, but then I switched to The Spirit. So, ya, I was kind of following him.
SHAWN: Not kind of.
BETHANY: I came thinking I’d stick it out through Christmas and if it didn’t work out with Shawn, I’d go home.

I sneeze really, really loud. The whole cabin shakes. Or is it just rocky today? I have the flu or something. I finally accept a lotion tissue from Shawn. He starts making fun of my boogers.

SHAWN: Let’s see how many booger jokes we can get into our improv show tonight!

Bethany explains that when her contract on The Spirit was up this past May, she went back to Utah to get a job. Things had gone well with Shawn but he had signed up to do another contract that would take him through October. Bethany hated the job she got in Utah and missed Shawn. She re-signed until the end of August and came back on The Spirit July 1st.

CARLA: So, what’s going to happen with you two when Bethany’s done in August?

I swear to god, the flu is clouding my question asking judgment.

SHAWN: We’re getting into questions we don’t even know the answer to…
CARLA: Shawn, what’s your favorite place to hang out on the ship?
SHAWN: Maharini’s.
CARLA: Bethany?
BETHANY: Shawn’s room…whether or not he’s here. Just kidding! I like it a lot, though, because it’s away from the Kids Center and crew areas…I really do like the Kids Center too, though. Fun people, movie nights, games. It’s a happy place…except for the scary monster painted on the wall in the ball cage.

For a better idea of this monster, please see picture of Rory, below.

CARLA: So, Shawn. You’re still a smoker, right?
BETHANY: Ya. But I smoke substantially less when Bethany’s around. Two or three a day. Also, I brush my teeth a lot more.
CARLA: Okay, five years ago, where’d you think you’d be now?
BETHANY: Hmm… I was twenty one.

A funny gurgle sound escapes Shawn’s throat.

BETHANY (CONT’D): What?
SHAWN: Nothing…you were only twenty one five years ago.
BETHANY (laughing): I thought I’d be a social worker? Maybe married and a social worker?
CARLA: What about you, Shawn?
SHAWN: I would’ve been what? Thirty three? Just starting with The Second City? No, I had been with the touring company for a couple of years by then. Um…Yeah, I don’t know. I guess I’m about where I figured I’d be…still somehow trying to make a living making people laugh. And I definitely knew I’d never go back to the bank.
CARLA: What’s your favorite movie?
SHAWN: Shawshank or Casablanca or Star Wars or Godfather…
BETHANY: Or?
SHAWN: What?
BETHANY: You know!
SHAWN: Oh, right. The Little Mermaid. It’s not one of my favorites, but it’s one of my favorites.
CARLA: Bethany?
SHAWN: She doesn’t really have one.
BETHANY: I don’t. But if I had to pick one, I’d say Princess Bride. But I’d get sick of it watching it over and over again.
CARLA: Okay. If real life could be a tv show, which would it be like?
SHAWN: What do you mean?
CARLA: Just take it however you take it.

The snot in my head is suffocating the part of my brain that likes to think clearly.

BETHANY: Are you asking me that too?
CARLA: Yep.
BETHANY: Definitely not like Lost. Shawn, I thought you would say Seinfeld.
SHAWN: No. I don’t know.
BETHANY: What? Would you say 24 or Lost or something like that?
SHAWN: Maybe!

Bethany spends the next few minutes breaking down the question for Shawn. She wants to make sure he understands all the consequences of picking life as a fugitive government agent official fighting terrorists or being stranded on a desert island with a smoke monster and “The Others”. Shawn takes a long, deliberate pause.

SHAWN: “Cheers”.

They high five each other.

SHAWN: I’d be Sam. I always thought it’d be fun to own a bar that you could throw a party at every week.
BETHANY: Mine would be “Sweet Life of Zack and Cody”. It’s a Disney show. They live in a hotel, nobody cheats, nobody dies. It’s a nice life.

I sneeze for the trillionth time. I take another lotion tissue. It does feel significantly better than the toilet paper I’ve been using for the past few days. I blow and wipe my nose real hard, hoping to get as much lotion from this tissue as possible. Shawn inches the garbage can towards me.

CARLA: Okay, one word to describe the crew bar.
BETHANY: That’s a hard one.
SHAWN: That’s not hard.
BETHANY: Smoky…loud. Oh. That’s two words.
SHAWN: Drama.
BETHANY: I’m trying to think of another word for tacky…
SHAWN: Gossip. How about gossip?
BETHANY (giggling): I’m thinking of the way it looks and you’re thinking of the people in it. We’re on two different planes.

Shawn offers a Diet Coke. I accept. Shawn has a fridge in his room. It makes me real jealous. I try not to rub snot on the coveted door as I reach in for a beverage.

CARLA: Bethany, one word to describe Shawn.
BETHANY: What’s with the one word questions? It’s so limited.
SHAWN: How about sweet, brilliant, hilarious, charming!
BETHANY: Charming came to mind.
SHAWN: Delightful!
BETHANY: Wait! You’re writing down his words?
CARLA: Yeah.
BETHANY: Okay. Go ahead.
CARLA: Shawn. One word to describe Bethany.
SHAWN: Ssss…Yeah, let’s go with sweet!
BETHANY: Aww…
SHAWN: Lovable—
BETHANY: Just one word! You know, in Mormon culture, if a girl isn’t very pretty, she has a “sweet spirit”. If guy’s say that about a girl it’s like, “oooh, burn!” And thank you for not saying, “blonde” or “gullible”—
SHAWN: Naïve?
BETHANY: Or naïve.
CARLA: What’s the code for man overboard?
BETHANY: Code Oscar.
SHAWN: Yes, Oscar…I kind of forgot for a second.
CARLA: Alright. Tell me what you think of when you hear these words. First word: Eat.
BETHANY: I think of food.
SHAWN: Comfort, warmth, contentment.
CARLA: Pray.
BETHANY: I think of what I do for Shawn’s soul every day. Kidding! I’m only kidding! Not my answer. I think of god and I do pray. I think it’s an effective way to deal with life’s challenges.
SHAWN: I thought of “ey”. “Prey”. And then I thought of schools and tests.
CARLA: Love.
BETHANY: Shawn, this book, “Eat, Prey, Love”. I was reading it when you were courting me on The Star. And one night you tucked me in and picked it up from my night stand and read me a passage from it!
SHAWN: Wait, so what’s the third word?
CARLA: Love.
BETHANY: Being happy and wanting to do things for people that you wouldn’t otherwise do.
SHAWN: I think of, uh, um…comfort, warmth, contentment. Eating and love are very similar for me.

Rory Jones

RORY JONES
Age: Twenty.
Hometown: Norwich, England (He was born in Germany. He doesn’t have dual citizenship, but reminds me he “absolutely could if desired”.)
NCL Ship: The Spirit

Rory Jones is not technically crew. Rory’s father is a firefighter on the ship and he has been visiting his dad since May 31st. So, as of this interview, Rory has been on The Spirit with “Guest” status for seven weeks. Rory has a name tag so that he can enter crew areas without being hassled, but his badge reads, “Rory Jones: GUEST”. He’s set to debark on July 26th, but is trying to get a visa so the he can alter that “Guest” badge to a “Crew” badge and be an official employee of NCL.

While on The Spirit, Rory has been doing “research” for his undergrad at University of Reading in England. His major is currently Geography, but he was recently granted funding to study for a masters and PhD in “cruise tourism” at the University of Brighton. Rory agreed to this interview in exchange for me filling out a survey. I was asked many questions about my thoughts on the types of passengers a cruise ship attracts, why people take cruises, what they seem to enjoy, etc. I answered all of these questions in a most professional and honest manner. I said, “Overweight people. Because people are lazy. People who like to eat. Etc.”

Rory has managed to pass the long days at sea by doing something constructive with his time. He volunteers in the Kids Centre. He’s like a Y.C. (Youth Counselor, A.K.A. Entertainer of Children), but he doesn’t get paid. If that didn’t make him a nice enough guy, when I went to take pictures of him in the Kids Centre, a little Russian boy ran up to him, jumped into his arms and called him, “Papa” (on paper it sounds crazy, in person it was adorable). Rory has enjoyed working in the Kids Centre so much that he’s applying for a visa to see if he can stay on the ship a couple more months and do more of it.

The first time I met Rory was in the crew bar. As I tried to talk to him over very loud Filipino music that made his British accent nearly impossible to understand, I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful this young man is. No, I’m not being lecherous (and, hey! I’m only eight years older.). He’s officially beautiful. Official because I say so and beautiful because he looks like a Grecian god. Long, slender features that come to a point…okay…I’m not good with flowery language. Imagine Orlando Bloom in “Lord of the Rings”, take away the pointy ears and bow and arrow and add a mod hair cut. Voila! Rory Jones.

Rory has a very deep voice. It’s so deep that when you first hear it come out of his sweet little face, you think he must be joking. When I commented on how deep it was and said, “you must get sick of people telling you that all the time”, he looked confused. “Don’t people tell you how deep your voice is?”

“No. Never.”

I would’ve thought he was joking, but a) he didn’t laugh and b) he’s British. I don’t mean to say that Brits never joke, just that I can’t always tell when they are. During that first conversation in the crew bar, Rory told me and Megan (fellow cast mate) that he saw our Second City show. We smiled and casually waited for the obliged, “great job!”…but it never came. After a few awkward seconds he explained, “I didn’t laugh at your show. I don’t get it.”

I decided then and there that Rory Jones was someone to be admired and examined.

This interview was given on a sea day, Saturday, July 19th 2008.
RORY: Do you mind if I take my shoes off?

Rory takes off his white sneaks (are those Keds?) and slides his feet under his bum. Among Rory’s many admirable qualities is flexibility.

RORY: I don’t mean to be rude, I just want to get comfortable.
CARLA: Sure, sure. What’s your favorite kind of music?
Rory mumbles something that sounds like, “mindy inu rock”.
CARLA: Indie Hindu Rock?
RORY: What? No. Indie Rock. That’d be interesting, though, since I’m the biggest atheist in the world!

This is the first of many misunderstandings I have while trying to transcribe Rory’s answers to my note pad.

RORY: I lost my voice the fourth week I was on board because people, you know American passengers and people, Americans, were having me repeat myself again and again…

Darn it! He’s grouping me in with “Americans”. Dumb Americans. Please don’t think I’m ignorant to British speak! I watch Emma Thompson movies ALL THE TIME.

RORY: I lost it because they couldn’t understand me, you know, but also because they wanted to hear me say words with a British accent. My accent seems to make me very approachable in the states. Americans seem to hear my accent and that’s it—they’re off! Say this, say that.

Crossing, “please say ‘bread and butter’ five times fast” off my questionnaire.

CARLA: What’s your favorite movie?
RORY: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The original one! Not the horrible crap one with Johnny Depp where they ruined it.
CARLA: What’s the best part about being British?

Rory laughs. Rory has a nice laugh. It’s a chuckle. Once he does it this first time, the flood gates (or the gates to Buckingham Palace—eh? Eh?) open and Rory fills the next thirty minutes with appropriate British laughter.

RORY: That’s a hard question. I guess we’re well known…I mean, people think they know British people. Especially people from the states always pretend like they know about Britain. You know, “Oh, I came from Britain”. Who cares? Or, the Royal Family. Everyone has opinions about the Royal Family. The amount of questions I’ve gotten about them since I’ve been onboard is ridiculous. “What do you think about Princess Diana’s death?” I don’t know, I don’t care. People outside—like Americans—know and care about the Royal Family way more than I do. I’m all for getting rid of the Royal Family.

Big X through the question, “Which prince do you like more, William or Henry?”

CARLA: Well, then, what’s the worst part about being British?
RORY: Everyone thinks that we’re “snooty Brits”, which is actually something that was quoted to me by a parent in the Kids Centre.
CARLA: What’d you say to the parent?
RORY: Nothing. I just sat back and composed myself. People have an opinion that we’re quite reserved…which, I guess, is true.
CARLA: What makes you laugh?
RORY: Just my friends, generally. Nothing particularly, just randomly. I wouldn’t say that I laugh a lot, but when I do it’s nothing particular, just spontaneous.

I laugh. Rory does not.

CARLA: What’s your favorite thing to do on the ship?
RORY: I love being in the Kids Centre. Particularly the 2-5 year olds. They’re the most fun. Food is getting to be the most fun as well. I’m quite enjoying dining out. But I don’t think I’ve gained any weight—

Rory pats his tiny waist and laughs. I laugh too. We both laugh.

RORY: I really just love being here on a daily basis, meeting passengers and crew. It feels like home now, I’m quite comfortable here. I’m not an…not an attention person? You know? But being here for so long as a “guest”? It’s funny. People see my name tag, they don’t understand why a guest is here for so long, so I’m kind of my own kind of celebrity. Which is nice. I guess. But you’ve got the bit jub mumble gurgle gurgle blah blah, haven’t you?

Huh?

CARLA: I’m sorry. What was that?

Rory laughs. I do not.

RORY: You’ve got the best job on the ship, haven’t you?

I smile, not fully understanding the implications of his question.

CARLA: Yes, it is a great job.
RORY: Yes, I should think so!

I decide Rory’s not being sarcastic. He’s being sincere. I’m starting to understand his subtext.

CARLA: Favorite port?
RORY: Tortola. Sea Lions (he sings this to me. “Seeeaaa Lionnnns”).
CARLA: Where do you see yourself in five years?
RORY: Hopefully in a stable job, a stable relationship and…happy. What job that will be, what person or how happy—that I don’t know!
CARLA: What’s your cabin like?
RORY: Deck 4. Passenger hallway. I live in a disabled room.
CARLA: Do you have a roommate?
RORY: No.

I get sad as I think of my small shared cabin--

CARLA: Is it quiet?
RORY: Yes.

--located right underneath the ship’s kitchen.

RORY: I didn’t want the disabled room at first, though. I thought, “I just don’t think it’s ethical for me to live in a room for the disabled”.

I wonder who I have to buy candy for to get a disabled room?

RORY: But it’s enormous! You could park a car in it! I’ve managed not to press the emergency button yet. It looks exactly like the light switch!
CARLA: Okay, Rory, I have to know…what didn’t you like about our Second City show?
RORY: Well, I don’t get the North American humor. Your cast mate Shawn makes me laugh—

Shawn?! Damn it!.. Well, that’s fair. Shawn is pretty hilarious.

RORY: --not necessarily in the show, but on a day to day basis.

Ah ha!

RORY: But I don’t really like many of the shows here. I like “On the Radio”. That one makes me happy for some reason. But I really don’t like, “On Broadway”. If I wanted to see a Broadway show, I would just see an entire one, not one with mished mashed bits.

At this point the bandmaster, Lanie, and cruise staff admin, Mariana, enter to use the computers. Rory and I get out of our chairs and move to a couple of stools in the corner. Rory tells Lanie he’d like to do something for the crew show next week. Lanie asks Rory what he’d like to do?

RORY: I don’t know…wave the British flag?

We all laugh. I decide Rory is hilarious and I want him to think I’m hilarious too.

CARLA: If your life could be a t.v. show, which would it be?
RORY: I would probably say “Friends”. “Friends” reminds me a lot of University.
CARLA: Which character would you be?
RORY: Chandler…although, education wise, probably Ross. Although, I would’ve given up on Rachel a long time ago…I certainly wouldn’t have had a child with her.
CARLA: What’s your worst habit?
RORY: I’m very indecisive. That’s not a habit conventionally, but I cannot make a decision. Typical Gemini.
CARLA: Me too! Gemini!

Please like me!

RORY: I’d much rather have someone else make a decision for me.
CARLA: Me too!

Now that Rory and I have made new steps of solidarity in our friendship,
I erase a few of the crosses I made on top of questions in my note pad and decide he’d love to answer them.

CARLA: Kenneth Branagh’s one of my favorites. What do you think of him?
RORY: I don’t even know who that is.
CARLA: Emma Thompson? What do you think of Emma Thompson?
RORY: Should I know who these people are?

I recross all the uncrosses.

CARLA: Do you watch “The Office”?
RORY: Yes…no. Well, when anyone asks me, “have you seen The Office?” they usually mean the American version. I haven’t seen the American version. I’m led to believe it was English before American…this time at least. I love David Brent. My humor’s a lot like that. Dry humor. Randomness…
CARLA: Okay, what’s your favorite British movie?
RORY: I think Braveheart’s quite good. I’m including Scotland in Britain…I guess. The James Bond films, also, always classics.

I’m trying to figure out how to tell Rory those are American films about British people. I decide against it. Why spoil his good mood?

RORY: I don’t really watch that many British films. We don’t really make them, though…all our films are Americafied these days…

I pat myself on the back for not telling Rory just how Americafied his “British films” are.

CARLA: Use one word to describe yourself.

Rory makes a pained face and says, “ppphhhhh”. He then asks me to write that down. That’s his answer. I’m not misunderstanding his accent or his intent. He just wants me to write, “ppphhhhh”. I decide this is one of the best answers to a question in the history of mankind and I quickly write it down.

CARLA: Use one word to describe the crew bar.
RORY: Loud.
CARLA: Okay. I’m going to say three words. I want you to just say the first thing you think of when you hear these words. Number one, EAT.
RORY: White, fat people in general.
CARLA: PRAY.
RORY: Um, not me.
CARLA: LOVE.
RORY: I wish…or…if only.
CARLA: Two more questions, then you’re all done. Ever had GI?

Diarrhea equals a 24 hour quarrantine on a ship.

RORY: No! Thank god!

Rory crosses his fingers.

CARLA: What’s the signal for man overboard?

Rory starts laughing hysterically.

RORY: This is hard because I’m not employed by the company! So, technically, this isn’t something I HAVE to know!

Mariana and I start laughing hysterically too. I explain to him, “It’s okay. I didn’t know until like last week”. Mariana wags her finger at both of us.

RORY: Alpha?
MARIANA: No! That’s medical emergency!
RORY: Oscar?
MARIANA: Yes! Oscar!
RORY: I have no real reason to know that answer…yet…until I get my visa.

*Update* Rory was unable to get his Visa. The process would take too long and he was scheduled to debark on July 26th. Rory’s back in England now with plans to join NCL’s The Sky to continue his research in “Cruise Tourism” for the University of Brighton.

Mariana Lozano.

MARIANA LOZANO
Age: 23
Hometown: Monterrey, Mexico
NCL Ships: The Star, The Dream, The Jewel, The Spirit

Mariana is Cruise Staff Admin, which basically means she helps put order into the cruise director’s life. She’s in charge of assisting him with whatever he needs, as well as scheduling all the cruise staff and putting together the “Freestyle Daily” (daily list of events on the ship). Mariana works in the cruise staff office, so I see her every morning and evening when I check Second City’s e-mail. She’s one of the friendliest people I’ve met on the ship. Within the first five minutes of our meeting, she threw her arm around me and asked me to go down to the crew bar with her. I thanked her for her kindness, but told her I couldn’t possibly start drinking until at least five o’clock.

Amongst crew, Mariana is probably the most popular person on the ship. She has friends in every department and told me it’s a personal goal of hers to get to know as many people as possible. She said she is “very mafia” in that sense. When I asked her what that meant, she responded, “I just believe when you nice to people, people is nice back to you. That’s why it’s very important to have friends, no matter what position you are. That way when you need help, people make it easier on you.” She asked if that translates into mafia and I said, “Sure. Why not?”

Mariana recently told me something that almost made my head explode. “Carla, you know I have a twin sister, right?” Mariana’s twin sister is named Monste, and she is also in the cruise staff department with NCL, but works on The Jade. Mariana leaves for vacation in two weeks and will go home to Mexico. It’s the first time she will have seen her twin sister in almost a year. She said she misses her so much it makes her want to cry and the thing she most looks forward to about seeing Monste is, “to party together again”. Watch out, Mexico.

CARLA: So, you worked for Disney before NCL. What’d you do there?
MARIANA: Ya, I worked for Disney. In Epcot at Mexican Pavillion. I was a hostess. A, uh, “cultural representative”.

Mariana shuffles through her ipod. She’s looking for, “background music for our interview”. She finally stops on “Across the Universe” soundtrack.

CARLA: Best thing about working for Disney?
MARIANA: You really believe you are in a dream. Everything is magical. Of course you have stupid white people asking you stupid questions. But, you know, as an employee, they make you believe how important you are.
CARLA: The stupid white people?
MARIANA: No, Disney. You know, they really value you. You have great benefits. Free entrance to parks, great discount on hotels. My older sister and her family came and I was able to save them more than half by working there.

Mariana opens her desk drawer and pulls out two bags of candy. Damn it. She does this every day. I never say no. I love candy. I take two Hershey kisses.

CARLA: Thank you. I love candy. So, how did you start working for NCL? MARIANA: Well, at Disney, I interviewed to work for the Disney cruises, you know? And I had like, five interviews or something, and on my last interview, the last stop, they said no. I was like, huh? Why you make me go through all this just to tell me no? And then by that point I was like, “I wanna work for a cruise!” You know, because I had it in my head and stuff. If I have a goal I’m the type of person who will not stop until I get it. So, I went home on vacation and started looking on the internet and found someone in Mexico, like the main guy who found people to work on cruise ships and I e-mailed him and within a month or whatever I was hired for NCL.

I take two more Hershey kisses.

CARLA: Where do you see yourself in five years?
MARIANA: It’s very difficult to say because I live my life by today, not by tomorrow. Everything happens so fast here [the ship]. I know that this job is for now. Living this kind of life forever is just kind of unstable. I wanna get married and I wanna have kids one day and living on the ship is not the way to do it. Right now I’m young and I wanna travel and it’s good to get paid to travel. But, who knows, maybe in five years…I’ll be a cruise director?.. NO! Only kidding. But, who knows.

She offers me a butterscotch. I take it.

MARIANA: I know I wanna be a young mom. I wanna be a young mom to understand my kids well, but I need a man to do it. To make babies!

Mariana and I laugh. I take another butterscotch.

CARLA: Where did you see yourself five years ago?
MARIANA: Since I remember, everyone always say to me, “you will be traveling the world”. Everybody pictured me like that, like marrying someone not from Mexico, like marrying a European or something. I’ve always pictured myself traveling. In my city, my home, there’s a stereotype, you go to the best school, you get the best degree, then by thirty you get married or else you’re nobody. Five years ago, if you’d asked me what I’d be doing, I’d say, “I don’t give a shit.” Like, if I don’t get married by thirty, I know there’s a whole other life out there. There’s a stereotype in my home and that’s why I move away from home because I don’t like to follow.

I understand exactly how Mariana feels and I tell her so. Then I congratulate myself for my empathy by taking two more Hershey kisses.

CARLA: What’s your favorite childhood memory?
MARIANA: How child?
CARLA: (mouth full of candy) Oh, um, I see. Like between ages two and eighteen. Best memory?
MARIANA: I had a great time in school. I loved going to school and not because I loved learning but because I was a mess.
CARLA: How a mess?
MARIANA: I hung out with the cool ones. Like, not bad to each other, but cool because we liked everyone. We stole things from chapel. I had fun and I knew how to have fun. I was like the first to smoke and drink…Oh, also, as a child. Young child. I remember I would cry every time my Mom would leave the house. Which is funny because then I was the first child to leave the house. To move away. But, you know, I need to fly for myself.

I get a little weepy when hearing this phrase and want to tell Mariana that it’s beautiful, but I’m too embarrassed. I think the chocolate has made me emotional. I grab two more pieces of it.

CARLA: What’s your favorite music?
MARIANA: Everything. I love music. Life without music is nothing. I need music. If you invite me to a concert, I will go. Even if I don’t know the songs. I love music.
CARLA: What’s your favorite movie?
MARIANA: “Closer”. You know that movie?
CARLA: Yes, it’s very depressing. I’m surprised you love that movie! It’s so depressing!
MARIANA: No, I love it. You watch it and you don’t fully understand it and then you watch it again and you understand more and then you see the end and you’re like, “what?”, and then you get confused but you watch it again.
CARLA: Wait, so why exactly do you like it?
MARIANA: I love watching things where you’re like, I can feel like that is like my life.
CARLA: That’s like your life? But it’s so depressing! You don’t seem depressing to me.
MARIANA: It’s a lot of drama, you know? I love movies you can see yourself in.
CARLA: Okay. I think I know what you mean. Natalie Portman looks really beautiful in that movie. So, what’s your favorite port you’ve been to on any NCL ship?
MARIANA: Sweden. No, Russia! The Hermitage Museum. I never thought I’d be able to see a Leonardo Davinci, you know? When you see it in front of you, you’re like, “are you fucking kidding me? Leonardo Davinci?!” And the bike rides I did in Germany! I was riding on this bike around Germany and I was like, “That is so cool. I rock! Right now it’s evening in Mexico and I am in Germany riding a bike.” You realized how blessed we are and we’re seeing all these different places. Oh, Rome! Write Rome. Yes, tell Rome. I loved Rome.
CARLA: What’s the best thing about a sea day?
MARIANA: You’re in open sea and everywhere you turn around it’s nothing but water. “Oh, my god! I’m in the middle of nowhere!”
CARLA: What’s the worst part about a sea day?
MARIANA: There’s no option. If somebody wants to reach you, they will, because they know you are on board.
CARLA: Was it popular for girls to spray their bangs up real high in Mexico in the 80’s?
Mariana has no idea what I’m saying until I mime it for her. The she laugh/screams and claps her hands.
MARIANA: Yah! Oh ya, of course! I hate it! I remembered I love it, but when you see pictures, “are you serious”?!
CARLA: Is your cabin on the ship noisy?
MARIANA: Oh, fuck ya! Whenever we dock my room will be bouncing. So, that’s how I know when we dock, everything starts shaking like an earthquake. And I live in a very noisy hallway, with the dancers and all, a party hallway [third floor- crew quarters].
CARLA: Do you have a roommate?
MARIANA: No.
CARLA: Do you wear earplugs?
MARIANA: No. No earplugs. When I’m tired, I’m tired. I’m not the kind who will be bitching like, “Will you guys be quiet?!” But, you know, my neighbor. I won’t say who. But when he prays, he sings. Every night. Ave Maria. And you know how thin the walls are? You can feel and hear it when somebody’s even having sex!
CARLA: What’s your favorite restaurant to eat at onboard?
MARIANA: Cagney’s [steakhouse]. I get the ribeye, medium. And shrimp and oysters.
CARLA: Do the Cagney’s fries kind of taste like fish to you?
Mariana doesn’t understand me.
CARLA: You know, like fishy?
MARIANA: No.
CARLA: Ya, my cast doesn’t think so either. But I think they taste kind of fishy.
We stare at each other for a couple seconds. She shuffles through her ipod again.
CARLA: How do you feel about passengers walking around the buffet without any shirts on? You know, like bare chested guys?
MARIANA: It doesn’t make a difference. No. It’s a freestyle thing, you know?
I wonder if this is really how Mariana feels or if she’s been brainwashed by NCL’s Freestyle “Whatever, whenever” slogan? Chest hair leaning over the lettuce is gross, isn’t it?
CARLA: What’s your worst habit?
MARIANA: Biting my nails.
CARLA: What song makes you cry?
MARIANA: “Blowers Daughter” by Damien Rice.
CARLA: Isn’t that the song from “Closer”?
MARIANA: Yeah, I love that movie. It’s like life.
I decide I need to host a movie night for Mariana. Fun ones like, “Goonies” and “Splash”.
CARLA: What’s your favorite onboard party night?
MARIANA: The White Party where we all have to dress in white. Because the music is great! I can jump, you know, I have fake wings on and a slutty skirt and hooker heels. I will never wear a short skirt because I don’t have the body for it but at that party I don’t care, I’m like a character, an angel.
CARLA: Did you ever pretend like you were a mermaid when you were little? Like when you were in a pool, did you swim with your legs together and pretend you had fins?
MARIANA: Of course! What are you talking about?! Every little girl has that fantasy!
We eat many pieces of chocolate at the same time.
CARLA: What’s one word describing yourself?
MARIANA: Emotional.
CARLA: What’s one word describing the crew bar?
MARIANA: Music.
CARLA: What’s the code for man overboard?
MARIANA: Oscar.
CARLA: Have you ever had GI?
MARIANA: Yeah, once. But it’s just diarrhea, you know? Like at home, you would just chill, but here it’s such a big deal, like I get why, but they quarantine you and stuff. I don’t know. I don’t tell anyone anymore when I have diarrhea…wait, maybe don’t write that.
CARLA: Okay.
MARIANA: No, it’s okay. You can write that.
CARLA: Okay. Now I’m going to say three words and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind for each of them. Like a word or a short sentence or whatever. Just a gut reaction. It’s inspired from a title of a book called, “Eat, Pray, Love”.
MARIANA: Oh my god! I’m reading that book! Have you read it?
CARLA: No. I was just trying to think of three words to ask to everyone I interview and words for food kept popping into my head—

I eat one last butterscotch.

CARLA: Okay, so, EAT.
MARIANA: Food.
CARLA: Great. Second word: PRAY.
MARIANA: Uh…God?
CARLA: You’re perfect. Doing great. Last word: LOVE.
MARIANA: People that I care about.
CARLA: Anyone specifically or just people in general?
MARIANA: Well, anyone I meet. Every single people you meet, you will learn something from them. I believe that. That’s a skill. When you are able to get that learning from people. It’s a skill.

Mariana complains that she might be getting a little sick. I run up to my cabin to get a packet of Emergen-C (vitamin powder mixture), mix it around in her water bottle for her and tell her to drink it.

MARIANA: This is great! And it makes you feel better?
CARLA: Yep.
MARIANA: You think I could put this in some alcohol?
CARLA: I don’t know.
MARIANA: Ya, like vodka or gin?
Um…
MARIANA: I joke! I joke with you!